38 is great?

I'm not so excited about my birthday. I don't care about getting older, it really hasn't ever bothered me. And generally I like my birthday. I get special treatment, like foot rubs and choosing supper and sometimes going to a movie. The kids even try to be good on my birthday. (never do they give me what I ask for, though, which is a super clean house that I didn't have to clean)
However, what I wanted this year was to find two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I've known all week that it wasn't going to happen, what with the freakishly intense PMS going on over here. But instead of the two lines I got a visit from Aunt Flow.
Still, I shouldn't be so bummed. It is all the things weighing against me having another baby that is bumming me out. One fallopian tube, low sperm count from having had a vasectomy and reversal, starting pre-menopause and not ovulating every month.... it just doesn't look good. Sam is almost 3.
Thinking about how I would be in my second trimester already, past the morning sickness, bums me out, too.
I'm not going to age gracefully, I fear. LOL

Now, if I could just get some chocolate in me and shake this funk so I can enjoy my special dinner out and forcing Donnie to sit through a chick flick.