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Our 7 Qtpies

November 11, 2008

How to deal with an incredibly rude person?

On Sunday many people at church were asking about Cody and his disappearing act on Monday. These people get the prayer requests and prayed for Cody's safe return and you know they care. So we didn't mind answering questions.

But one lady asked Donnie about Cody and he told her that Cody was having a hard time with a teacher. She said "That's what happens when you home school, there's no accountability." She blamed Cody having a teacher being so mean to him that he had a panic attack on us homeschooling him years ago! Do homeschooling not have accountability? I don't agree! We are accountable. We have to turn in records and report cards, and depending on the state it is very difficult.

What would you do?

I think I am going to call her and tell her how rude and hurtful her comment was. Since God told us to home school, we know that it was the right thing for our children and for her to suggest that it is our fault for following God that Cody can't take a teacher yelling at him and treating him like a juvenile delinquent is unacceptable and extremely hurtful.

We know that we did what God asked us to do. We do not know why Cody is having problems in school, but we are working on it. We do not know why the school decided to put him in the bad kids instead of the lunch detention homework help that we had planned. Cody is very emotionally sensitive, and top that off with 13 year old boy hormones, it is a very bad mixture.

What should I do?

8 people think my kids are qtpies:

Joyful Noise said...

People like that make it hard to ask for prayer! or even want to come to church sometimes but I hope those of us who are truely concerned will help you continue to ask for prayer.
She was just very rude and some people are that way - wish those were the ones that minded their own business but they are the ones that usually don't.

Jackie said...

There are people that will never understand homeschooling. One of my mother-in-law's friends is a teacher. While we homeschooled, the woman was constantly and secretly testing my kids to see how they were doing and nay-saying the homeschool process because they were not answering her questions right. Earlier this year, my mother-in-law told her about the kids' accomplishments in public school, and that Keri Lynn was a Georgia Merit Scholar. You know what she said to that? "Well, it must have been the two years of A Beka DVD classes they had right before they entered public school." Apparently, it had nothing to do with any of their OTHER training. Nor does she know that they only completed 3/4 of a DVD year, not two years, and that the rest of their training was under my discretion. I'm not saying that A Beka was not important, just that I used it under my terms and not A Beka's and not the state's. But this woman (I love her still as a close family friend) was not willing to concede that homeschooling was a success.

My advice is to forget confronting the poor woman. She does not understand all of the facts. She doesn't know the entirety of what Cody is dealing with. But YOU do, as his parents. Hang in there. Keep following the Lord's will. Keep loving those precious kids.

Jackie said...

Thanks for your comment on my comment. : ) I will pray that all goes well with you -- that the Lord will give you MUCH wisdom!

siteseer said...

Some people!! But to say anything is a waste of your breath. She missed out on a few very important classes of life! As far as homeschooling...don't children learn a hugh amount in their first five years...oh yeah, they're not in school then guess they don't learn anything. Keep up the good work..the Lord is there for you and will guide you. Homeschooled kids have it so much better having you there for them as 1 teacher to (how many children are you teaching right now)bet it's not 30!!

Cheryl Pitt said...

I guess I'm the only one who thinks you should call her. Trying to convince her about the viability of homeschooling is pointless so I wouldn't even try to go there. I would however point out that her comment was a judgement on your personal lifestye, one which you felt compelled by the Lord to follow. I'd explain that her comment was very hurtful and that she doesn't have the right to judge your family-you were looking for prayer and support, not condemnation.

And if she insists on bringing up the homeschooling issue, politely ask her what's her explanation for the many other public schoolers (who never homeschooled) who run into trouble with school? What did all their parents "do wrong"?

Blessings

JenPB said...

I'm new to you, but not new to homeschooling. We love it! And our kids are thoughtful, kind, social and active despite what all the naysayers. You know, we really can't battle all the ignorance in the world, and clearly this lady isn't thinking before she speak. (I like Cheryl's point that public schoolers run away, too, without any homeschooling excuse to lean on.)

Recently an acquaintance of mine told me she was working on her ability to forgive people for anything, anytime. It's something I could really use help on, too. She figured out that the sooner she can forgive someone (in her heart, not necessarily to his face) the sooner she found inner peace. Is it possible to forgive someone even before they offend?

Best of luck

Lisa said...

Pray on it and if you still feel the need to talk to her, let her know kindly that her comment hurt your feelings, she may or may not have realized how her comment was received.

Sassyfrazz said...

I agree...pray about it fervantly. I do think you should talk to that person about it, and share your feelings about the comments voiced. It is really sad that people are so naive about what home education is, and they aren't "educated" with how it works. I will continue to pray for Cody, you and Donnie, and the voices of opinions~especially of those in the church. Some words can be so damaging...and they need to be stopped.