I can't believe how badly I am neglecting my blog. I have been busy, it's true. But that isn't why I am neglecting my blog.
I think I've lost my writing love. Since I lost the baby I haven't felt up to writing anything anywhere and I don't know why. I don't feel sad or guilty or depressed about it, I just can't think of anything to write. And it is worse for the newspaper! I just don't want to write anymore.
There are things I would like to write about but won't. Those are probably more the things that are blocking me from writing, they just happened around the same time as finding out I was pregnant and losing the baby. There are two women that I am having issues with. One is a long time issue, and I have tried everything to get along with her, but I think she has a mental illness that is undiagnosed and we can't seem to get anywhere for long. I'm beyond done with it. The years of pain she causes me and people that I love are making me feel icky about church. Part of me wants to just leave, like other families have done, but part of me refuses to leave and let her keep destroying people.
The other issue will get taken care of, but I am dreading it. Not because it can't be resolved, but because the other person won't LISTEN. I tell her something and she blows it off, blames it on other things, and on and on it goes. It is going to be long and frustrating. Or I just let her laugh off the concerns and just move on.
In the middle of all that, I have had to deal with the loss of my baby and tube, get ready for graduation and the Miss Qtpies7town pageant, deal with my boys and their need for summer school, lost tennis shoes, tons of field trips.........
I just want a mental break!!!!! When is Ladies Night Out? LOL
May 27, 2009
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6 people think my kids are qtpies:
So sorry about your loss I know how you feel! Hugs!!!!
Mark and I had a talk about the subject of a women in church who was causing strife and trying to make idol worship come back. And God called her a Jezabel.
Your issues made me think of this.
I am continuing to pray for you.
Don't take this all on yourself. You could ask your friends for help. LNO is not for awhile, but Friday night is Karaoke night...does that help?
We don't have to wait for the official LNO to get together you know all you have to do is call. Please don't take it all on yourself. Learn from someone with experience it is not good to do to yourself. You have friends who are there for you. Love ya.
I seem to have the opposite problem...a ton of things I want to write about, but no time to type them up. Even now, my ironing pile is slumping off of the couch, the mildew in the bathroom is threatening to take over, and there is so much stuff out all over the place, that our home looks more like a flea market than a family dwelling.
I am sorry that you have so many challenges to face all at one time. Hopefully you will be able to find some respite from all of it soon.
Michelle
Not SOON enough!!!!
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