God has a sense of humor

I have had a hard time sticking to a Bible study for quite some time. Last year my family got sick and we passed around 103 degree fevers for 6 weeks and I couldn't get to the study. This year I didn't sign up for the morning study because I have to drive Cody and Hope-Anne to a class at the school during the study so I couldn't go. So, I signed up for the evening study. And I couldn't go at first because of sickness. I missed 3 classes, but I was determined to go.
The study is on discerning the voice of God. I am not new to that, so I wasn't really excited about it. I know the God speaks to us and I have heard Him plenty. I wasn't expecting to learn something new. Not that I didn't expect to learn anything or hear from God, just that I already hear from God, so I am not walking in there and coming out awakened, I guess.

Well, I made it to last weeks study and it was good. The next day my mother in law was hospitalized and she is still there, so I have been very pre-occupied with that and the holidays and couldn't do my homework.

I had decided to leave the women's ministry recently but I haven't been able to write the letter of resignation. I wasn't sure why. I have never wanted to be in this position, I haven't enjoyed most of it. It has brought so much conflict, anger, frustration, and doubt into my life. I don't feel like it is effective quite often. Sure, the event was good, but how many people showed up? How many people was I reaching? Just frustrating. So today my pastor asked me if I was going to quit or not because he needs to start searching for a new leader.

I said I just didn't know. I want to leave, but I can't write the letter. But I wasn't sure what the problem was. Did God want me to stay? Did I just not want to give up the title? Did I just not want to give up because of pride? I just couldn't say what my motives were either way, so I was in limbo. My pastor said he would be praying for God to speak to me about it.

Sooooo, I go to my Bible study on learning to hear God's voice tonight. It is a video series, and as we watched the video the speaker said something along the lines of someone out there "is in Women's ministry and wants to quit, is frustrated, doesn't enjoy the job" and so many of the situations I felt. She said that God is teaching dedication to me right now for something in the future. I just knew that God was speaking to me. My friend knew it too as she heard it.

I came home and drug my husband up to the church and we watched the video so he could hear God's answer for himself. We were both in tears! God so clearly spoke right to me and directly answered our very prayer specifically in a video that was recorded how long ago??? God knew I would see that at the very moment I needed to see it.

The irony of God speaking to me in a class on learning to hear God's voice is just so funny!

So, even though I don't want to continue, I am going to keep on working in the women's ministry and I am going to be dedicated to it. Who wants to join the team? lol