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Our 7 Qtpies

January 10, 2010

Joyce

My mother-in-law, Joyce, passed away on Friday, January 8th, 10 minutes after the Bi PAP was removed from her face. Her two sons were on either side of her holding her hands. I just held my husband from behind.
I can't tell you how hard this was on everyone. Partly expected and still surprisingly fast.
This picture is from our Christmas together the day she came home from the hospital, for a grand total of a day and a half.





It was a bitter-sweet day for us as one of my best friends, Jody, gave birth to her daughter at only 34 1/2 weeks along. Little Tessa is very small, but very healthy and hasn't needed any intervention other than a feeding tube due to the size of her stomach, though she is a good little nurser when she is allowed.

It was such a blessing to have both events occur together for us. Donnie said it was poetry from God.

Now we move on to new territory for us. We have never had to bury a parent before and we are lost in the tumultuous sea that is funeral planning in the midst of grief. We are stumbling through it with much help from friends who have been there, and the support and love and prayers of our friends and family.

Joyce was not very fond of preachers, and, in fact, would kick the chaplains out of her hospital rooms. But she would not only see, but enjoyed, visiting with our pastor. Pastor Al has offered to do her funeral, even though it will be a 2 1/2 hour drive. Each way. (no, he didn't know that before, lol, though he did offer to drive no matter how far) We are so blessed by this! The day we got the call from the surgeon that Joyce was not going to live, Pastor Al came to the hospital, even in horrid driving conditions. He shook Joyce awake to speak with her and her face lit up! I did not see her face light up at any of the rest of us. She knew he would be there to pray for her.

Joyce woke up and was talking a bit in the middle of the night Thursday and told the boys (her sons and husband) that maybe it was time to let her go. By noon on Friday, Joyce had stopped responding to us verbally, and by late afternoon she was not responding with blinks or squeezes and really wouldn't even look at us, just open her eyes. We really feel that she wasn't with us anymore before her body quit breathing.

Everyone is holding up pretty well. Phillip, her husband, is doing OK. Please keep him in your prayers, he never thought he would outlive his wife, who is more than 10 years younger than he is.

6 people think my kids are qtpies:

Workship said...

Thanks for sharing on your blog.
I don't even want to imagine the pain of burying a parent, and trying to put together a funeral.
We are praying for you.
Daisy

Grandma J said...

I'm with Daisy, I so don't want to even think about that yet...but I guess I should, being as I'm in my 50's and my parents are in their late 70's! I have gone through helping bury my mother-in-law though. There are so many decisions to make, it can make your head spin...and I wasn't even the one making them. Hang in there, and don't hesitate to call if you need help with anything. We'll pray you guys through all of this!

Kris said...

Oh Lisa, I just can't imagine...but I fear I'm not far behind you with my own father. Hugs and prayers,
Kris

Carina said...

We are all hurting and crying with you too! I hope God gives your family amazing strength as you deal with this.

Cynthia said...

So sorry for your loss.

Joyful Noise said...

Maybe Joyce knew that Christmas would be her last time to spend with all of you and made that conscious decision to leave the hospital because of it. Not that it is never easy but at least it was not closer to the holidays - that would just ruin the memories of the holidays and she was maybe protecting her family from that...