Good things bring out bad feelings?

I have been feeling a bit depressed the last several months. Between losing the baby, and a great deal of chances to have more, my mother in law being hospitalized for several months and then passing away, and no sun for months, it is understandable that I would be down.

With Drew getting married, plus taking vitamin D3, being past the due date and through the funeral, I have been a bit cheerier. I have enjoyed helping plan the wedding. By helping I mean doing research for inexpensive places to shop, finding local venues to look at, setting up the date at the church, driving the bride places to shop, and helping financially. I have not made any decisions myself.

It has been fun and exhausting!

Wouldn't you know that my enjoyment would bring out the ugly in other people? I didn't expect that. I would post the things we did such as "We found the dress!" or "Wedding planning is good for me, it is curing my insomnia." Most of my friends and family were happy for us, and for me for getting to enjoy my son's wedding plans and getting to know his bride better.

But there were a couple of people who decided that I was "too happy" and "too controlling." I was told I should not have anything to do with planning the wedding. Just hand over the money and let the bride loose. I was told I was controlling the wedding and not letting the bride choose anything. I explained that it was not the case, the bride is doing the choosing, I am doing research and driving, and in fact, if I had not done research, the bride would not have her dream wedding dress, since the style was NOT in her mom's budget, even with me helping.

Those two people would not stop telling me that I was controlling the wedding and that I should plan my own wedding vows since I was too happy with helping Jannessa. Both Drew and Jannessa said that I was not deciding anything and that they were thrilled with my help, but that only fueled their fire.

I have now lost a relationship with my sister, and a long time friend. Over a wedding that neither of them have any business worrying about. The friend isn't even close enough to send an invite to.

I would be willing to let it drop, if they would stop when I asked them to stop, but they "didn't do anything wrong." I was wrong to argue with them. I was wrong to explain myself. They weren't wrong to malign my character publicly on facebook with myself, several friends, family and the bride and groom telling them they were wrong. Then my sister dropped all my family off of her friend list so she could say horrid things about me (her words), and my friend dropped me so she could take part in the maligning.

Fun times, huh?

What is it about happiness that makes other people do ugly things?

I am sad to lose a closeness with my sister. I have worked hard to try to have a close relationship with her. I have never judged her lifestyle or her parenting, while listening to years and years of how I am doing things wrong and constant critisism. I have never said bad things about her, just tried to be a supportive older sister. Breaks my heart.

But I am still happily making wedding plans! Tomorrow the bride and I get to go look at a caterer and his venue, and we are both excited about it!