It is so hard maintaining relationships with difficult people. People you need and want in your life, not random people you don't care about.
For example, family that you love and care about who do not share the same lifestyle beliefs or faith choices as you. It is very difficult to live harmoniously and lovingly with them sometimes.
For years I have dealt with family telling me that I am wrong in raising my kids with strong morals and modesty, just as an example. They don't just state an opinion, they have literally started a fight in front of the kids at their birthday party with other family around that my kids couldn't possibly find a marriage partner with courting because how could they know if they were compatible if they don't have sex with them first??? (from a never-married person with kids, no less)
I have tolerated the criticisms, even when they do it and undermine my authority in front of my kids, because I love them. But I have failed to understand why they don't respect that I am raising my kids my way and choosing my lifestyle just as they are choosing theirs. I never understood why my choices for good made them so mad. I never tell them they should do it my way, or say theirs isn't good enough. I do answer them when they ask why I am choosing my path, but not saying they have to take it.
So why do people get so offended when you choose to follow a good, Godly path? And why is it that the more Godly it is, the more offended they get?
I think it is because God is light, and when the light is on, sin can't hide. Their sins look so dirty to them next to the light, but they don't understand that. They don't want to face it and get defensive and want to bring everyone to where they are so they don't feel like they are wrong.
I don't expect my family and friends to make my choices. And I really don't expect people who haven't committed their life to Christ to live like we do. I have never suggested that to my family and friends, and yet they expect me to stop living for Christ because they don't like that I am holding to strict morals and modesty for MY kids. I am the only one who will have to deal with the fallout if the kids decide against our morals when they move out, not them. So why do they feel the need to criticize us and try to make us less moral?
It is frustrating to me. But I deal with it because I love them. God will reveal the truth one day, no matter who is right.
7 people think my kids are qtpies:
I'm on the same boat here and it's hard I feel helpless sometimes
Just keep on Keeping on....one day the Light will hit them and they will realize what is going on...
Wow... hang in there. I agree with what you said about the light. Who wants to be held to a higher standard?
I'm sorry you're not supported by your own family members. Just remember to love them, and forgive them. So hard to do when they're so aggressive, but in the end you have to do what is right in your heart.
Just found your blog and look forward to reading more.
Great post!
Neither my husband nor I come from Christian homes. My 91 year old father is the only extended family member that is fully supportive of the life that we live. Otherwise, we are the "conservative, republican, religious, jesus freaks, who have a LOT of kids and won't even let them go to school". :)
We have never said anything remotely to any of them like they should live how we live ... but they choose to stay as far away from us as possible, as if we have some contagious disease or something. Seriously ... it's been probably 10 years since we have seen anyone in my husband's family. So sad! And, we have only seen my mother once in the past 8 years ... my older brother twice in the past 10 years. We don't even get Christmas or birthday cards from the grandparents.
We so wish that our children had loving grandparents, but we sure are excited to be the kind of grandparents that we wish our children had had. Can't wait to be a grandma, now that my baby days are over.
Blessings,
Laurel
I am very thankful that we have pretty good relationships with our families. There are only a couple left who still opening criticize or condemn us in front of the kids. But it is still frustrating!
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