That is where I am.
I couldn't believe what happened last week and I prayed and sought God about what it appears to be, and it looks very much like someone is spreading lies with an agenda, I don't want to believe it of those people. I asked God "Lord, this can't really be happening, tell me that this person isn't really trying to get me out of here with lies and mistruths!" but God's immediate answer to me was:
The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my
whole heart. Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law. It is
good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. The law
of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver. - Psalm
119:69-72 (KJV)
All I want to do is follow God in the most painful, heart-rending, self-esteem wrecking job He has ever asked me to do. It is more thankless and bad for the ego than parenting. I have never been involved with anything that has caused me to feel worse about myself than this job.
It is no wonder you hear people who love God who leave the church never to step foot in a church again. That is not where I am headed, but I now understand how people end up there. My world is rocked. Thankfully I have rock solid friends to keep me from losing my mind.
Clearly I am going to go through this and come out with a better understanding of God's laws, but it is still horrible to go through. And the timing with Drew's wedding just 2 weeks away was so unloving that I just can't imagine looking in their eyes for a very long time.
3 people think my kids are qtpies:
Just remember...God never deals us anything we can't handle. Sometimes I'm amazed at the hand some people are dealt-but they must be extremely strong for God to know they can handle it.
So sorry you're being faced with this kind of pain right now. The wounds of a friend, especially a church friend, cut so deeply.
Somehow we expect more from people who go to church and lead in our church...that is why it hurts more to see that they are not following what God's will is and hurt us easier.
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