Band-aids

Earlier today Hope-Anne asked Trinity to bring her a band-aid for her finger.

Don't you long for the days when you could ask mom for a band-aid and a kiss and your pain would disappear? Remember those days?

Sometimes there isn't a band-aid big enough, though. Not to catch the blood or to stop the hurt. Not even God will keep you from going through that pain. It is supposed to grow you, build perseverance and character.

I'd rather a band-aid and a kiss on my boo-boo.

I told them!

When I found out I was pregnant, after a week of denial over why I was late, I knew I needed to get in for an ultrasound to be sure I didn't have another tubal pregnancy. The surgeon and my regular doctor both told me that I needed to be seen as soon as I found out again because there is a slightly higher risk of a second tubal.
So I went to make an appointment but they wouldn't let me do anything unless I had a pregnancy test FIRST. Um, yeah, because the 5 I took couldn't be trusted to be right? I don't know if I really am pregnant after 12 pregnancies? Give me a break. But fine. So I do that and find out I AM pregnant! Shocker. Then they said I had to go to the OB educator class before I could do anything else. Um NO. I'm not taking that. Last time they dilly dallied about that I nearly died from a tubal rupture.
I got a note in to my doctor and he, just based on my call, set up a referral for an ultrasound. He is a good doctor. So I go to set it up and they won't let me because I don't have insurance. Hello? I am paying cash right now in full. It was a BATTLE to get one set up. Those gals made me meet with financing to even set it up with me paying cash! The financing gals were trying to get me to sign up for insurances and told me that I wouldn't be able to get insured through an employer, no insurance takes on pre-existing pregnancies. I told them I would be able to, I've never had an issue with big companies.

We've waited patiently while Donnie switched jobs, and lo and behold! The temp agencies medical insurance would not have a problem with pre-existing pregnancy! So we just have to wait for the one month period before we can sign up. In that time Donnie has been offered a full time job at the company he is contracted at! Strangely enough, both companies use the same insurance company! So, I should be covered soon.

My only real issues are:
1. I want a midwife at home so I don't have to have a forced c-section, but we haven't found out if they cover one, and even if they do, they only cover 80% AFTER the $800 deductible. Fine, if we weren't taking a HUGE paycut. But with a wedding coming up? Probably won't happen.
2. I don't know if my regular doctor is in-network yet. But at least if I do go through a hospital, the whole thing is covered 100% after a $20 copay once.

God is good! I trusted all along that God would provide insurance for this birth. I'm not totally giving up on having my homebirth, but I am willing to let it go if I have to. Donnie has never liked the idea, anyway.

Happy 21st Birthday, Drew!

It just blows my mind that is was 21 YEARS ago that you were born, so tiny and perfect. Now you are a grown man with a wife and a career. An air traffic controller! In the US Air Force! Makes my heart swell! (even if I always dreamed of you being in the Army, I am still proud!)

Ultrasound pics!

I went to a great 3D/4D ultrasound place for pics yesterday! It is just a place for fun, no measurements or diagnostics, just 40 minutes of watching your baby jump around and playing! Beautiful experience, and one that I plan to repeat with this baby!

This is a cute pic of the baby stretching tall, arms raised up, legs pushed down.
I didn't see it at the time, but looking at the pics, this looks like a baby being held in it's mothers arms! So precious! And in this one, though it is very, very early, you can see what appears to be boy bits down there between his legs. lol I'm still holding out hope for a girl, but this little one was more than happy to flash us the whole time, and it never looked like it could be girl parts at all. So, I'm gonna work a little harder on that boys name now.

This was such a great experience! Well worth the $100 I spent. I went away with a DVD of everything, a CD of tons of pics, and 6 photo quality pictures, PLUS 3 gift bags of stuff! If you live in MN you should get your ultrasound at Bella Angel in Maple Grove!

Quick update

This past weekend was our monthly ladies night out. We meet every second Friday. Even though we have switched churches, our group just couldn't stand not meeting, so we find a way! This weekend one of the ladies was able to secure us her mom's cabin for the whole night! It is right on a lake, and there were tons of beds, so we were able to sleep over with no worries. It was also Miss Daisy's birthday, which is probably why her mom offered the cabin. My friend Jeannie made her a cake with colorful daisies, and I hear it tasted a-maz-ing! (I'm not a cake eater)

Today is my first ultrasound. I am getting a 3D or 4D one done this evening. I'm sad Donnie won't be there, but I don't want to wait anymore. Things are just so weird that I want to get a peek in there and see for myself that all is well and on track. Hopefully I will be able to upload the video and share it here. (I'm not sharing results until after Donnie sees it!)

On the morning sickness front: things are getting worse instead of better. I'm making it through, and keeping hydrated, but the throwing up is more frequent. This needs to stop, I have parents night Firday and have to walk out onto the football field in front of TONS of students and parents and NOT puke on the field. I can't let Devon down, either, this is his senior year and he is always so understanding about me not making all his games.

Old, overweight, and pregnant...... is there a funny side?

Just so you know, there is definitely TMI in this post. Men won't want to read this. And I probably don't want you to. I mostly write to moms, and that is who this post is for. As well as for myself, so I remember this stuff and can look back and laugh some day. Some day.

Part of the charm of ladies night out, or just a good time with your close girlfriends, is that you can sit back and complain about the getting old process and commiserate together. It helps you to laugh at the changes you are going through, you know, so you don't have to cry all the time, lol.

I've heard older women talk about how they lose bladder control when they laugh or sneeze. Pregnant women, too. It isn't funny to us, but you know, there really isn't much we can do about it. And even what we can do is limited by the time and money we have left over after giving everything of ourselves to and for our kids. So we laugh. Right?

I am going to journal the next 7 months of this old, overweight pregnancy with honesty and transparency and way too much information.

I am 39 years old. That makes me of "advanced maternal age" in this pregnancy. Supposedly putting me at risk for all sorts of issues. That doesn't worry me, but being old does make things harder. The whole weak bladder thing. Not cool. So when I have to deal with the nasty side effect of pregnancy and puke, I also get to pee my pants. Fun times. Miserable and humiliated.

Plus I am super tired. I've never been so tired! I've been through this whole pregnancy thing a few times, and this tired is a new thing. Why am I so tired? I'm just too old for this!

I am also overweight. I wasn't even this heavy at 9 months pregnant with my first few pregnancies. I'm only 5'4" and 40+lbs overweight. And I think half of that weight is in my chest. OK, maybe not half, but my chest is huge. DD is ridiculous on my height. Could be worse, true. However, it isn't funny when I lay on my side or my back and the fat from by chestular area splays up toward my neck. And funny thing is that if something touches my throat area, I puke. So I am being gagged and choked by my own boobs. Yippee. Well, maybe it is a little funny.

Then there is the whole fun of being pregnant. Puking, nauseated, bloated, gaseous, not to mention having to go through exams in private areas, poking, prodding, needles, and CHILD BIRTH. I need to eat, but I hate food. I need protein, but I hate meat. I need to drink, but I hate everything. Nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good, nothing is that good coming back up.

Old, fat, pregnant and miserable. But a little happy and a lot blessed!

We've reached the breaking point

This bout with morning sickness is going so well compared to the other kids that I hate to utter a word of complaint. Really, normally I have lost 15lbs by now, and I am only down 5. Usually I puke many, many, many, MANY times a day, and in fact, by this point, I would have made a bed in the bathroom so I am closer to the toilet.
But this time I have only thrown up about 4 days now, and never more than one episode a day. So, yes, I think it is going great!
However, what is making it go so great is my lack of movement and staying hydrated. I need to lay down most of the day or I do throw up. So I am not able to get anything done around here. I can't cook anything, I can't even stand to walk into the kitchen. I can't clean anything. And do you think the kids clean? Not without me. It is getting to be a bit of a stress issue around here.
The kid KNOW they have to do a chore every day, but they are not doing it unless they are told, and even then it isn't happening much. I am in bed and not seeing what they are or are not doing. Donnie is getting stressed about it, too.
I know the kids hate it, and it has to be hard on them having mom down all day every day. They have to pick up my slack with feeding and watching the little two, keeping clean towels going, etc.

I'm really praying that this morning sickness only lasts the first trimester because none of us can take much more of it. With Sam it went on for 22 weeks. We'd deal with it, but my house wouldn't survive.

Hopefully just under 2 weeks to go.

My man, Sam!

Sam cracks me up all the time! I think I shall name all my kids with names that mean "laughter" from now on, cause I just love how much laughter he brings into our lives!

Last night I was laying in bed and he crawled in with me dripping from a bath. I was struggling big time with not throwing up at that time, so I was grabbing at my throat and freaking out "Where's my water bottle?"
Sam says "What's wong wif you throat?"
"Mommy is sick."
"You throat hurt?"
"No, I'm going to throw up."
"Oh, no! That so sad!"
And as I lay back down he snuggles right up into me for comfort! It was A-dor-a-ble!
So I said "Sam, you are such a sweetheart!"
"I naked."

I just cracked up! So he kept repeating it since I obviously thought it was funny, haha.

Avast! A murder has taken place in my kitchen!

The other night we hosted a murder mystery party. We chose Murder Among the Mateys, a pirate theme. It was quite fun to see the guys get so into this one! There was a lot of pirate talk going on for the weeks before hand.
Everyone was invited to a jig at The Salty Sea Dog Inn. Donnie made the sign below for the party, quite cool!
The guys were a little too into the whole theme, me thinks! Naw! They had a great time!

This would be the Governor and his family, his wife and two daughters.

Below from left to right is Cap'n Redbeard, Merciless Morgan (my hubby), Thumbless Jack, and Buccaneer Bradshaw.

Merciless Morgan met an untimely death in the kitchen! Who could have done such a thing!

The cast and crew!

Thank you all for coming and making the party so much fun! I certainly was not the fun one, or the best hostess ever, but you all were great, helping cook and serve and clean up! I appreciate it! Next year we'll do it again and I will NOT be in the midst of morning sickness, Lord willing!

Update

Well, the not throwing up didn't last, but I still feel like I have it under control. As long as this ends at 12 weeks, like most of the kids, I'll make it through without being hospitalized. I just have to make it through, I don't have insurance, lol. God is good!

We didn't get Devon's senior pics taken. Devon and the photographer just have conflicting schedules so far. So we'll wait until the new school year gets settled down. Hopefully I won't be sick anymore, either. That would help.

Kaytlin is doing well at college. She is finding the reason we were so afraid for her safety coming to and from work late at night in the down town area. So far the security guys who are supposed to meet her haven't been reliable, and last night she was pretty afraid waiting for them and started walking back, which was also frightening. God is her protector though, and I trust in Him.

I'm really struggling with stuff from our old church situation. We have moved on, and while we are working on forgiveness, watching the deceptions and manipulations continue is really difficult to deal with. I love the people of that church, and to sit back and know what is going on and not be able to say anything without appearing to be defending myself rather than the people just kills me. It isn't about me any more. I don't have hard feelings for most of the elders, I have always thought of them as wise men, but I see them deceived, and even seeing the deceit in writing, they are unable to admit it and repent, but continue on as if they had to be right. Breaks my heart. But we are out of it. All we can do is pray for those who are so diligently working to protect the congregation.

So, wounded, we've landed in a very unconventional church "for people who don't do church." I can't believe how non-judgemental they are as a whole. You just wouldn't dare voice a judgement toward someone with the acceptance that they exude down to the "lowliest" of workers. It isn't tolerated. The fact that so many of the people there have been wounded by another church lends itself well to people who do not judge others. You don't get to sit and lick your wounds for long, though. Serve, and serve with a joyful heart. It helps a lot to get the focus on the lost, on the great commission. I don't know where we will end up in the long run, but this is the right place to lick our wounds and it is also the right place for our boys. Cody and Sam have both always hated our old church, not the people, but going was a battle royale every week. Now they both go happily! So, there we stick for awhile! The preaching is fantastic, too, so I'm happy, even if I HATE the rock music that they play so loud they need to hand out earplugs at every service, lol.

Tonight is our Murder Among the Matey's murder mystery party! The excitement is just building and it is a blast to watch the guests talk pirate on facebook and hunt for the perfect costume. Now if only I could get my lazy butt kids to get the house spotless (for pirates, HA) I would be happy. Not gonna happen, so my guests will just have to understand that I am dealing with morning sickness so they will have to overlook it or clean it themselves, hehe. ( which I wouldn't fight too hard, haha)

Off I go to prepare for the invasion of the pirates tonight!