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Our 7 Qtpies

March 18, 2009

Getting through the toddler tantrums

Parents know that their babies cry to get what they need, they are not being bad. Parents will try to meet those needs in order to create a happy child and happy environment.

As those babies turn into toddlers and those toddlers turn into preschoolers, parents tend to shift in their thinking about why their child is acting up. Taking a toddlers behavior as a personal insult or a bid for attention is not an accurate portrayal of what is going on inside.

Children do not throw tantrums to make you angry, they have a need. Often that need is to have less stimulation or to have boundaries enforced. They learn self-control through our help in establishing boundaries and teaching them how to deal with situations that are beyond their ability to handle. For example, if you take your child shopping to meet your need during a time when the child is tired, it is really about you disregarding your child's needs and not your child trying to get his way. If we remember that and focus on who they are and what they need rather than their behavior at the moment, we will be able to help establish a harmonious family life.

Why a child might by throwing a tantrum:
Tired
Hungry
Major change in the family, like divorce or a new sibling
Lack of verbal skills to communicate feelings, frustration
Needs attention
Over-stimulation
Need to be autonomous from parents


I am writing at the Examiner today, to find out ways to avoid a tantrum read Getting through the toddler tantrums.

2 people think my kids are qtpies:

Lisa said...

Most often when Savannah (2) throws fits its because she is tired, we learned from the first 3 not to really do anything major while she is tired or it just goes in the tank...
Great article BTW.

Oldqueen44 said...

Our family just learned something very interesting. One of my grandsons is this sweet looking blue eyed, small for his age, little guy that is often times torture to live with. While doing tests to see if he has growth hormone problems they discovered that his iron count was at 11. Unbelievably low. They put him on high doses of iron and his horrible behavior completely changed. So you can add low iron to your tantrum list.