| Thirteen Things about Lisa
1. My mom posted a really funny little something on her blog,
something said by a little kiddo! Check it out for a quick giggle.
2. Love contests and giveaways? Check out my contest blog and
my contest column. 3. Even with all the things that have broken down at our house
lately (washer, dryer, car, furnace, freezer), I am so thankful
that I have a great home, family and husband who is willing
to work 6 days a week to help us get through this. 4. I am thankful that I am able to babysit for some extra income,
and I am thankful it is only two days a week, but long hours so it
is still good money, and I am thankful that it is for a friend and
her kids are good. (though they ARE busy!) 5. I am so happy with meeting new friends via blogs. I've just
been so blessed by people. 6. Oh my goodness is it ever fun to win giveaways! I won an
amazing scrapbook box STUFFED with cool things, I nearly cried
when I saw all the wonderful things in the box. I won a t-shirt,
and you can, too. I also won a nursing necklace! And that is just
in the last week. 7. Monopoly Goes Cashless, seriously, Monopoly is going to start
selling their new games with credit cards and NO cash moolah.
Is this wrong? How are kids going to learn real money skills and
not irresponsible credit card usage? 8. A friend of mine had an 11lb even baby boy last week. Yes, he
was 11 pounds! Barely fit in the bassinet! He's so yummy! 9. Why do teens turn into disrespectful know-it-alls? We show
them time and time again that we are right and they are wrong
but they never get it. It is apparently dumb luck that we are right
more than they are? 10. Diet Dr. Pepper is just the bestest! 11. Quelf is the most amazing game! I think it is tons of fun and
am so glad I found it. I want to promote it all over the place! And
I have some plans in that area soon! 12. You can see my pee in a cup at To Drano, or not to Drano...
seriously, lol. Only my friend Sarah or I would be that weird,
right? 13. You think you are having a bad day? Think again! This guy
has the award. We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone
can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.
No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling
that my boss thinks I'm lying.On one recent occasion, I had a
valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned
humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.
By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage
on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was
no problem. Then one morning I was taking my shower after
breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she
persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you
a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that
my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I
perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink
to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me
into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered
the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached
under the sink, and at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged
them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control
orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed,
with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know
this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the
sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
The impact knocked me out cold.When I awoke, my wife and the
paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this
life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked
in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics
were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the
while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to
talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?"
They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
If they only knew! |
