What does a Christian have a responsibility to do when someone is facing a situation? Lets assume both parties are truly saved, Jesus loving people.
Do you just accept their side of the story and assume there is no other truth, and just offer complete sympathy? Do you sympathise but still discuss where an area of sin could be a problem?
I'm not saying make the judgement call, just point out the possible problem, and leave it to them to work out with God.
Is it tickling their ear to just say "Oh you poor baby!" and not address the issue? (or possible issue)
If its not a sin, and they have sought God, and are comfortable with where they are, then all is as it should be, right? But if it is sin, and they are not seeking God, but all the other Christians did was sympathize with their situation and not try to point them to God, is that sin?
Why does this keep coming up for me? I can't talk about one situation and I won't bring on more publicity for the other situation. But I am left hurting for trying to love on someone and point them to God for direction and truth. Not my truth or their truth, but God's Truth. With no opinion on what the truth is. It hurts to have our sin pointed out, I know, but I love my friends who are willing to call me on it, or to make me be SURE of what I am doing.
I have had to make some tough decisions in following God, things that really go against the grain even in Christian circles. Things that make other Christians mad because they think if I am called to it that I think they are in sin or something. So I have learned not to judge others for what they stand up for. Because God has called each person to a different stand and a different life. I would never presume to know what God wants for a person outside of wanting each and every Christian to be pure of heart and totally surrendered to God's will, humble.
So, which way should we go? The way that causes other's to be mad at us and hurt us but could lead someone to a closer walk with God or out of possible sin or just hug them and let God deal with it?
People have suggested to me that I should seek God in something because I could be wrong. If they are wrong, it has not bothered me because I knew that God had called me to it. If they were right, I tended to get mad and defensive until I gave in to God's leading. And I love the friends so much!
*This is my 200th post!
11 people think my kids are qtpies:
That post confused me a little... but if I understand, you are wondering if you should tell friends when they do something you think is against what God wants, sin or other... To me, it seems simple enough, especially if that friend is christian to... it is your duty to let them know what you think is wrong and why, however, you also have to try to say it in a kind, loving manner... It's not easy, I have a hard time doing it myself, but it happened in the past that someone showed me some flaws I was not even aware I had... while if you do nothing at all, you might feel remorse for not helping a friend...
Yofed, it wasn't that I was thinking they ARE sinning, but that they should make sure that the situation is not them sinning and about what it seems it is. Because it could be more than they are saying, so many scenarios are possible. But I really like this person and want only the best for them.
When someone is fired twice in a year, you think maybe they should make sure its not something in your own life that is causing it rather than laying they blame on others. Not saying that it ISN'T others, but that you'd want to make sure. I'd WANT to blame others, but God wants us to look at the truth, no matter how we feel about it.
A person knows when you're coming from a position of love. Don't be afraid to stand for what is right, even if it makes the person angry for a while. A true friend wants the very best for that person, just like the person who helped you through a tough situation. I would want someone to speak to me if they saw something that might not be right. THEN, after you've said your piece, you leave it alone and let that person deal with their situation, unless, of course, they ask for your help.
I think we all owe each other compassion and understanding. But what that means for the people we share that with -- that's up to them, really.
I think your intentions were good and I know what you are talking about because I read that blog and commented as well. And that is why I came to your site because of your comments and to see what you are about.
Unfortunately what does help is knowing what demoination people come from to see why they think as they do. Some people think it is ok to drink alchohol and if you are someone who is seriously disciplined and can have a glass of wine on occasion no big deal. Some people think it is ok to read and dabble in astrology and will advertise what "sign" they are when the bible clearly states not to.
So what do you do? You would not throw the baby out with the bath water would you? We are all good at looking at someone else but we all need to look within ourselves.
Your intention was to open their eyes to see both sides of the coin and that is good. I don't care for the folks that just say oh I feel so sorry for you. That is not what Jesus would do. Talk and speak the truth. Religion is not what God is about. I am from a prophetic church and the body of Christ is going through a transition and a seperation of the true believers vs the religious pharisses.
It is hard to know me or totally understand what I am saying via a blog comment.
God bless you!
I hear ya on this one, and I think that just about everything we do, especially delicate stuff like this needs to be given up to God before we make any decisions.
I'm terrible at confronting people, but try to remember that "wounds from a friend can be trusted," and those are definitely the kind of friends I want. : )
You guys have been really sweet, thanks!
I can see that what I said did not come through as loving, because they don't know me in person, and can't see and hear me when its done in writing.
I really, really thought it was in love, but I see how they could not read it that way at first. I think its resolved now, but I still think they would rather I have just said something like "Oh, thats too bad, I'm praying for you." Which is nice to hear, when something which is completely out of your control is going on.
I just wanted to know if I should just have not said anything, which maybe I shouldn't have, because we don't "know" each other, but because we are Christians, we should still love each other.
I do agree denominations can have an impact on things, but not sure it made a difference in this case. It may make a difference in how you talk to someone, though. Because if I knew they were Catholic, it would be different than if I knew they were "Jesus freaks" (evangelical). I'm pretty sure that we are of very similar mindsets, though.
Think about this (my Pastors have said...), it is not our friends that we grow in character/fruits of the Spirit but our enimies that God uses. How to Love your enemny and bless those that persecute you. Because our friends agree with us and it is in adverstiy that we know what we are truly made of. And just read the bible look at what Jesus went through. He was persecuted not by the unsaved but the religious Pharisee's and Sadducces who constanly judged man on the outside. And FM even hit it...using David and Saul as an example and David was the least of his brothers that even his own father didn't even think of him but God did.
I think with the people you are talking about (from what I see on her blog) they have good hearts and mean well but young and could use a little guidance, love, a mentor to teach them. All things work together for GOOD to those that love the Lord. They have a beautiful family and I just pray that they don't abandon God. We tend to look at people for help but it is in God and God alone. Not to say that God doesn't use people of course He does. But our trust needs to be on Him as our Source for clothing food etc...
The bottom line regardless of what denomination the bible is the final authority and we as Christians need to not take it for granted. There are countries that the people have to hide pages of the bible in their private parts and suffer much persecution. We in America do not even know what persecution is and we need to toughen up (I include myself...need to toughen up). It is not all about us but the greater pictuer about God and destiny and others.
I'm not really sure I understand exactly what you were saying in the comment right above me, Anonymous.
But I agree, I really hope they stick with ministry. The "church" can hurt people so much, and it just pains me to see people who leave the church completely because of one body of believers. (it can be questioned if they really are believers.)
We have a bad church in our area, that if you don't do what they pastor wants, like spending your money where he tells you, then you are ostrasized, and if you leave, then the members are commanded to call you a "Jezabel" if they see you in public, and even if you are best of friends, you can no longer associate with them. That is HATE. I know two people who were seriously wounded by that congregation, one won't step foot in a church now and the other moved on to a wonderful new church.
For the other anonymous comment about knowing the log in my eye, if that was directed at me, which I did not take it as mean.
I have a knack for calling situations and hitting on things. I am very aware of my own sins, too. And I never pretend that I am all together, because I am NOT. Oh, do I know my issues!
There needs to be a balance, though, because you can't use that to never bring an issue up to someone. Just make sure you are not sitting comfortably in the very same sin and not working on it!
Thanks for you comments, I am enjoying this spiritual digging into what I should or should not have done. I never want to wrongly wound someone, and if I do, I want to apologize! (and I did for my lack of clarity in my true position)
On the side of Pastor's they do get a bad rap at times as well. They work very hard and sacrifice and have to many times live in a fish bowl.
I am not trying to say anything to hurt anyone just sharing my beliefs/feelings.
What you said has just brought others things...to mind.
Even with giving many folks get angry and even leave a church. I know someone who actually left a church because the church was collecting for Pastors birthday or something and she felt they had enough money and was so offended she left the church over a $10 offering. The church needs the finances to do the things they do for the building rent/mort/ac/heat etc... I just wanted to say those things to side with the Pastors it is not just the sheep. I don't side with anyone but on truth.
Thanks for your openness!
I so agree that pastors can get a bad rap! And I've seen a huge trend towards the end of parsonages, because they have nothing to use to move to a new home and invest with, PLUS people in the church feel like they own the home and can come and tell them what to do and not to do, etc.
I love our pastors so much! I'm just so incredibly sad that our youth pastor is leaving (moving close to home) because my kids just florished under him, and we really liked them as friends, too. But, he is going to someplace good for them, and its the right time, I'm sure.
I can't imagine feeling like pastor's have enough, not that we under pay ours, but if you can, why wouldn't you want to give them a gift? We frequently would give baskets full of gift cards for groceries or home repair places or restaurants. They bless us so much, its the least we can do.
I think you spoke very well and I don't think anyone could be offended with your post on the pastor's side!
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