It's official! I'm an author!

I have been getting paid to write for a while now, but it hasn't been all that impressive to even me. Some advertisements here and there, reviews in exchange for products, etc. But now I have been paid for writing something more substantial. Two articles. I am writing several more in addition to that, but I have officially been paid for the two, and now I am an author.
It wasn't a plan for my life. Though I have always loved reading and English classes were fun for me. My parents would probably say I have always been talented with words. Like the time I told them the sore in my belly button was from someone shooting me with a BB gun. I told the school nurse that, and it turned into a big ruckus. Really I was just scratching at my birth mark and it turned into a sore. But I made it a big, creative story. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the nurse was getting sick of me coming to her office "sick" all the time and I was going to show her I wasn't a faker or something. (hee hee, I worked like that)

Oh, and something remarkably funny happened tonight.
I have known my mother in law since I was 15, I think, maybe younger. I've been married to her son for almost 19 years. In all that time this funny thing has NEVER happened in front of us.
My mom was trying to sew Devon's patches on his letterman jacket tonight. She spent hours sewing, ripping out, pricking her fingers, tacking them down, attempting to use the sewing machine.... finally I called Joyce. She sewed jackets, patches, clothing, etc for a living in a factory. She is very good at sewing. I asked for her expertness to come on over and help us. She must have finished in 30 minutes! I don't know how, but she managed so well. She'd have done it quicker with the larger, professional machines she is used to, but she managed to squeeze that huge, bulky jacket into my mom's regular old machine and get it done.
As she was leaving my mom was telling her how great it was that she could do that because she'd tried for hours and had only manage to "poke fingers in my holes." She misspoke, having been pricking holes in her fingers. it was pretty funny, but we didn't think anything of it.
But then Joyce said it. That thing I have never heard her say. She made a dirty joke. She did! Sort of. She said "We aren't going there." Oh my word, when it dawned on me where her mind took my mom's words, I about passed out laughing! All these years Donnie and his brother would say innuendos or whatever and she wouldn't even notice, not an eye roll, not a sigh, not a grin, nothing. I thought she didn't get it. But really she did. She's just good.
Oh, but I got the best laugh out of it! (not that it wasn't gross, but the fact that she did it was hysterical. pure old granny DOES get dirty jokes)