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Our 7 Qtpies

February 21, 2010

Always new

It is baffling to me that after 7 kids there are still things I haven't had to deal with yet. How do the kids keep coming up with new things?

Sam is something else. Everything about him is different from the other kids and nothing seems to work for me to get him to cooperate. Not just potty training, either. (though he has been using the potty more often these days) But things like sleeping all night and going to church and Sunday School. He just won't do it.

The first 5 kids were freaked out by the nursery until they were about 2 1/2, then they were fine. I never pushed them, I don't like the cry-it-out method and I knew that one day they would be fine with out me. I am happy to say that my method of letting them know that their parents are there for them worked well to make them secure. Trinity was different. Her siblings were all much older than she is, so she always had a "parent" around to make her feel safe, and it wasn't always me, so she didn't mind the nursery nearly as much as the other kids. I still had to be with her in the toddler years, but it ended quickly enough.

Sam, well he STILL won't let me leave him for most things church related. I can leave him at friends' or grandparents, but not at church. He will go to his Sunday School class fine, but once that is over, he won't stay for the church service or go to the other nursery, and heaven FORBID I try to get him to go to the children's church service!!!! We are talking about a serious meltdown! He can't do the church service with me, which is what I prefer for my kids, because his ears are very sensitive and it causes him serious pain during the worship time. (it hurts my ears, too, so I totally get it)

I finally gave up today. I haven't been to church regularly in 6 years. I am so over that. Today I brought him to his grandpa's house during church. He was happy. Grandpa was happy. I was happy. Next week I am bringing him right after Sunday School so I can get back in time for the sermon.

Now for the sleeping at night thing. I would LOVE to have him in bed by 10PM. That would thrill me to pieces! I can't even imagine him going to be at 8pm. Right now it is after midnight most of the time. He still wakes up screaming in the middle of the night if he goes to sleep before midnight. Occasionally he will fall asleep early and not wake up, but if he does it a few days in a row, the screaming is back. I have NO idea when this will end. Or how to get it to end.

So, there it is. I am at a loss in THREE areas with Sam. I am normally a pretty confident parent and can figure things out. This is humbling.

4 people think my kids are qtpies:

Workship said...

What a great idea for church!! It's so funny, how with one kid, I probably would have thought you just need to do this or that to get him to settle down, but after a few, I realize how totally different each kid is. They just don't respond like we'd want all the time. Darling has tried stuff no other kid did. Sometimes I think, it is just so that I'll be more understanding of other parents. Although, after dealing with a certain two of mine, I'd think I'd be understanding enough! :-)
I have a girlfriend who had a night screamer. Tough on Mom! and kid! One friend's child is 13 and still deals with sleep terrors occasionally. If there's anything to do to help it, I'll pray you find out. That would be hard to deal with in the middle of the night. Once I fall asleep, I hate dealing with stuff in the middle of the night. It is so hard to fall back asleep.
That's one thing I look forward to in Heaven, sleeping through the night. :-) It seems hopeless to accomplish that here. :-)

Lisa said...

We still have problems with Savannah going to nursery. She just cries her little heart out. She is the type her whole face with slpotch and looks worse then it is and its sad. I too am praying for her to make it thru a whole church service.

As for the sleeping all night, I am no help, all my kids have gone down by 8pm and sleep thru. on the rare occasion Savvy gets up we calm her down and its off to bed again.

Shell said...

I felt that way with Stephen when he was a baby. The other 5 were just fine yet, he is so different than the rest. I guess things started getting better when I decided I wasn't going to let myself get upset. Doing things different is just what I needed to do with him.

It can take its toll on you sometimes. But, remember he is very young still and, there is only so much you can do at his age. Doing what's best for you and him isn't wrong. If it helps, try to focus on him and his level of needs and try not to compare what he should be. I imagine he'll turn out just fine. He'll just take himself on much different path than the rest of his siblings.

Hang on and Enjoy the ride,
Shell and her TOT too. LOL

Unknown said...

I'm sorry, he must take after Donnie - all three of you went to bed at 8 and slept all night, practically from day one.