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Our 7 Qtpies

April 17, 2010

10% doing 90

Have you heard that saying that 10% of the people do 90% of the work at church? It is pretty accurate, though I think probably more than 10% are working in our church.

It gets frustrating for those 10% though.

I don't feel like I do too much. At least not right now. I only have one person doing the women's ministry with me, but since we have absolutely zero money, and I am not spending hundreds of dollars of our money several times a year to run events. I already have to pay for the baby and wedding showers out of my pocket, I just can't do more. So for now, there isn't much to do besides the tons of showers we are having right now. I also help in the nursery on Wednesdays. And we have walking twice a week, well, 2 times on Mondays and Fridays, which I need to be there for.

Donnie, on the the other hand, is into everything. He is busy all the time. He is the head of the technology department, and runs it most weeks. He is the Men's ministry leader, and tries to be supportive of all the studies and groups that are going on. He is starting an adult drama team, which means he will have to be there for all of those things. Oh, and he is in charge of setting up camping for the Sunday School, and filming things for missionaries, and if anyone has a wedding or other event, he is asked to do the technical for it.

Sundays almost always consist of him being behind the computer from about 7-12, which means rarely sitting with his family for church, and Nicole has drama and Bible study and Kaytlin has worship practice. Mondays I am busy morning and evening at the church. Tuesdays Donnie has TWO bible studies in the morning, which bumps work later in the evening. Wednesday I have nursery and he has another men's study group, Kaytlin is on the worship team and Nicole is on drama team and Cody does the technical stuff. Thursdays usually have him at worship practice, which means 8-9pm. Fridays I have walking morning and night, and he has another Bible study that he runs. Saturdays were a men's basketball event he was asked to have open that no one ever showed up to, so he lost a couple hours in the morning setting up, waiting, and taking down by himself. Then back to Sunday. And if something goes wrong with the computers Donnie goes to fix them. Sometimes there are church meetings we have to attend. Where is he going to fit adult drama in there?

Add normal events with family and kids: sports, work, conferences, shopping, birthday parties, etc, and we have no time for us and barely time with the kids.

The kids don't enjoy church any more. Especially Cody and Sam. I'm getting burnt out and frustrated with Donnie not being around. We have to serve, that isn't the issue. It is just that there are people who are NOT serving, and they could pick up some of these things. Like doing the technology. If more people did the tech stuff Donnie could do it once a month, or even once every two months! We have plenty of computer savvy people, but noone willing to commit to once a month or even less. So, guess who does it since it HAS to be done?

I think that once in a while there should just not be anything on the screen. Go back to printing the words of the songs and passing them out in the bulletin. Either more people will step up, or Donnie will just get a break here and there. (There are other people helping, but noone can do it every week)

We are not the only family at church who is over involved in things. I see other families that are at everything, running things, involved in things, taking on other things that noone will do. It is frustrating to see people being worked into the ground until they want to leave. Why don't people feel led to serve if they are really Christian?

I don't want my kids seeing church as taking over your life. I want them to serve, and they DO serve, but they have balance.

Then we have the dilemma of figuring out how to get Cody to enjoy going to church again. It isn't a lack of interest in God, it is just Sunday mornings that are an issue. He hates going, he hides from the service. It is frustrating. He is fine on Wednesdays, and he will watch sermons online with Donnie and enjoy them. So we have to find something that keeps him wanting to go to church. Devon isn't able to go on Sundays because of work, so we are going to add Saturday evening service at another church to our already busy week. Sam likes going to Sunday School there, but hates it at our church, but I think with Sam it is because of the time of day, he doesn't do mornings. Trinity likes going to both, so does Nicole.

This is just a frustrating time for me.

5 people think my kids are qtpies:

Joyful Noise said...

Sunday mornings are the most stressful for me because I usually don't get much sleep at night with the kids and then to try to hurry them up and get to Church on time. Then when Dan is not there it just isn't going to happen. I am not trying to justify skipping Church but I don't think that I get anything out of it coming stressed and then having to keep my kids quiet. Taking Kassie to the nursery doesn't help much because of things that have happened there. I think just staying home relaxing and praying is a much better way to spend some of my Sundays then stressing myself out - not good for the BP...

I also hear you about doing too much...maybe it was a good thing we moved further away - now I have to pick and choose more what I attend.

Grandma J said...

Yes! I'm all for NOT having anything on the screen, if that's what it takes for people to step up and help. The major problem at our church, (and probably most others), is that almost everyone thinks that somebody else will show up to do whatever it is that needs to be done.

We find the same problems with AWANA. Whenever it is time to set up for the derby, or AWANA store night, it's posted in the bulletin. Most people read it and assume (wrongly) that a lot of OTHER people will show up to do what needs to be done. The truth is, it is the same handful of people that do these things EVERY year. No one else even stops in to see if it is covered...or bother to stick around to clean up after the event either.

Sassyfrazz said...

Volunteering at church is where so many people can grow in their faith and walk. It takes EVERYONE to work together to volunteer...the reward is great.

I think you have a great idea about putting the words in the bulletin...and maybe then people will step up and help the church in their mission...

We love the Crossing for so many reasons...
one of their big pushes is volunteering. It really isn't an option to not volunteer if you attend there. It is no wonder that that church just keeps growing...something to think on.

Jean Lesteberg said...

Lisa. I have heard from many people in all churches of all denominations that if we allow to be taken advantage of --all in the church will do it. It makes no difference of gender people are just that way. So what if something isn't done and people ask why you have to tell them that you are not the only member of the church and maybe others need to step up and help Hold your ground and you will be amazed at how the LORD will began to work in others. Sometimes it is hard to step back Believe I am beginning to learn that one myself right now. Thank you so much for coming up and sitting with dad I love you very much Ma

Anonymous said...

I sure hope you live close to church :)

we have recently left our church of 24 years, and we definitely have a lot more free time. we were all very involved, especially my dh. we tried for over a year to help solve the problems and finally felt released by the Lord.

now the problem is where on earth to go? we want to to hear from the Lord what would be best for all of us. but it's a process and not always a very fun one.

I agree, it does seem like 10 do 90, and it will probably always be that way :)