Life lessons

I recently went through a pretty horrific experience with church leadership. It devastated me. I love that church, but I can say, that even after apologies and admissions and truly seeing where things were misunderstandings and not intentional, I would not go back while those leaders are still in leadership positions. I am not saying everyone should leave, I just can't be under their leadership after the major failure and hurt. They are not bad people. It was a bad situation.

God taught me lots of things during that really long year and half of trying to figure out how those men who seemed to be wise had seemed to have lost their minds.
One of those things was that things are NOT what you think they are. Even when things really look one way, and you can't see any way that it could be something other than what it appears, it certainly can be something else. (in both directions!) Rarely are we blessed enough to see a meeting of the two sides and get to the real truth.

Proverbs 18:17

¹⁷The first to state his case seems right
until his neighbor comes to cross-examine him.

Therefore, I learned that we shouldn't spread the news, even if we think it is probably true and is shocking. We really think everyone should know. But when is one side the whole truth? If you only hear one side you have an absolute obligation to find out the other before you take action and spread gossip. Otherwise you are a perverse person.

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:27-29

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. Proverbs 18:8

People want to hear gossip, especially gossip that tears people apart. If that is how it feels, you should sit back and take notice of WHY you feel the need to spread that rumor.

Sometimes we react out of hurt and truth gets distorted, and a small misunderstanding can become a HUGE offense before we know what hit us. The enemy wants to make Christians fight and cause dissension in the house of God. I've seen this a lot. I would tell my story, but we signed an agreement not to talk about it, even though I think hiding the truth is worse than telling the truth.

So, here is a little story:
A mom's side: My son is 18 and is going to this great church, playing in the worship band, and I check it out and all seems great! Scriptural teachings, great life-change in people! But then one day my son wants to stop going to college and serve God. I think he should finish school, so I say finish or move out. The church HELPED him move out! Then he wants to get married to a woman older than he is! He is only 18! The pastor told him to marry her, to quit college, They are a CULT!

A son's side: I am serving God, love what I do, and I am in God's will. But I am too stressed with school and my mission. I plan to keep serving where I am, and my pastors said they would hire me without a degree, because I have the skills. So I quit, but my parents didn't like it and said I had to move out if that was my choice. I get it, so I asked the church to help me find a place to live to honor my parent's wishes. When I fell in love my parents were furious! They wanted me to wait and got my pastor to tell me to wait. But we prayed and prayed and we really believe that God told us to get married, and we prayed with a mentor (who is not the pastor) and she agreed with us that is was God. I ignored my parents and my pastor's advice, and now I am happily married and serving God where I am supposed to be!

Who is right? His mom raised him to follow God and when he decided to follow God instead of her, she decided he was in a cult. isn't he an adult? Why would we get caught up in the mom's story? People only want to grasp onto the bad "cult" theory and tear apart a group of people who want to serve Christ. The truth doesn't matter. They don't care that they are hurting people, they just blindly and enthusiastically spread the word about this "cult."

Aren't they responsible to God for what they spread around?

This is the point where the internet becomes a frightful thing. Anyone can say anything and anyone will believe it and tear lives apart with no remorse.

1 Peter 2:15
For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.


God tells us to be fishers of men. I will keep fishing.