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Our 7 Qtpies

July 18, 2008

Love As A Way Of Life~ A book review

The winner is KYgirl. I have no contact info, so if I don't hear a response in 5 days, I will pick a new winner. Thank you all for entering and sharing your stories!

Love As A Way of Life by Gary Chapman is a wonderful book. I have thoroughly enjoyed the Love Languages books, but it is hard to implement those love languages when loving is not the way you live your life.

That isn't saying that I don't love, it just isn't the way I do everything. Such as going to the store, I don't think about how I can show love to other patrons or the clerks. Yes, being polite, but loving them? Something as simple as someone saying something nice to me has made a huge impact in my day, so shouldn't I be going for that with everyone I meet? Making eye contact with people and smiling? Saying hello and wishing people a good day? Thanking the clerk for ringing up my order?

I think one of the main things that impacted me in this book was a part about helping others. Sometimes it is hard to accept help from someone else. It puts you in a position of humility. (not to be confused with humiliation) Chapman says "Accepting the help of others is one of the best and most difficult ways of fostering loving relationships." And I completely agree! It brought back a memory of a friend from long ago who explained to me that denying someone the gift of helping me was denying them a blessing from God. It feels good to help someone, and it feels bad to be turned down when you offer to help someone. God blesses people when they serve others, sometimes with good feelings, sometimes with more then feelings. Would I want to deny someone the gift of God to save face? To look like I have no failures or have no needs? Sometimes you genuinely don't need the help, but accepting it when you do need it, or it would really help, will bless you and them. I once accepted the help of someone I didn't know well to clean my house when I was in horrid morning sickness. We are still as close as sisters 12 years later! What a blessing that act was for both of us.

Summary: For decades Dr. Gary Chapman’s best-selling books have shown readers how to speak the “love language” of those they care about. Now he digs even deeper to uncover the foundations of what it means to cultivate a lifestyle of love and how doing so leads to satisfaction and success in every area of life.
Drawing fresh insights from timeless biblical principles, Chapman presents poignant stories of real people who have discovered the joys of living out the seven characteristics of authentic love: kindness, patience, forgiveness, humility, courtesy, generosity, and honesty. Enhanced with eye-opening self tests, practical ideas for building daily habits of love, and inspiring examples of love’s power to change lives, this book guides readers in putting love to work in all of their interpersonal relationships.
Convinced that in a world of constant conflict people desperately need authentic love, Chapman paints a compelling vision of how life can be richer and relationships more satisfying for anyone who practices Love As a Way of Life.

You can purchase a copy on Amazon here.

Or, you can enter to win a copy by leaving a comment on when you have been blessed through help from someone or by helping someone else.
Leave a way to contact you if I can't find you through your profile. I will announce the winner through Prizey Fetch. But you need at least a unique nickname or I can't pick your comment.
Giveaway ends July 31.
You can also triple your chances to win by entering to win a copy at DaisyCrazy and Sassyfrazz.

52 people think my kids are qtpies:

michelle said...

I am definiely blessed through the help of others nearly every time I leave my home. I do not drive, so I often have people offer either myself or my children rides to various activities, or even to go out and get groceries.

I love the Five Love Languages and our church is currently running a series based on that book. I would like the opportunity to read this book as well.

michelle at northofthe49 dot com

Anonymous said...

I hope Canadians can enter? I've never read Chapman's work before! My grandparents are the greatest blessers in my life! We stay with them when my husband has work in the city, they feed us! They cook! They play with the children! What a blessing!

Anonymous said...
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Grateful Gramma said...

I have two special friends in particular to whom I can take a prayer request and know that it will be lifted up to God for me. That's a HUGE blessing!

MOMFOREVERANDEVER said...

thanks for the giveaway..blessed by giving---it feels so good to share

Sonya Cocherell said...

I'm blessed by working with the children at Church. Children just need you to be there for them, to smile at them and give them attention. I love teaching Sunday School.

susan1215 said...

We blessed a family last year by adopting one for Christmas and giving the children Christmas gifts that their parents couldn't afford to give them.

windycindy said...

Hi, I have been reading many good things about this book and its' author! From what I have read, it reminds me of the Biblical term
"agape" love in some respects. In the year 2000, I lost my only brother and then my mom, four months later. I felt like I was in a fog throughout their hospital stays and passing on. The kindness shown to my family ( dad, sister, me and my family ) was incredible. A group of people even got together and made a park in my hometown in memory of my brother. It is so lovely! He was the town's Veterinarian for over 30 years. He often didn't charge those who couldn't pay or charged a minimal fee. Thanks, Cindi
jchoppes[at]hotmail[dot]com

Mary512 said...

I am blessed by giving also. It feels so nice to share with others. Great giveaway, thanks!

Anonymous said...

I'm blessed by helping others because it makes me feel good and it brings joy to my heart.
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com

sweetsue said...

With a disabled son I often need the help of others. I am always so grateful and try to pay it forward.

Sara G said...

I have been blessed in both ways giving and receiving. It's wonderful to feel like you are on God's errand. During the first few months after the birth of our twin girls, I received meals and visits from friends. It literally saved me. I really liked the Love Languages book and would love to read this one.

Valerie Taylor Mabrey said...

I love helping people and gained a great friend from helping her move a few years back.

Anonymous said...

I'm truly blesses because of all the friends and family I have that would truly do anything for me. However, I still like to do little things too. It's amazing how something as simple as holding a door open for someone with a smile changes peoples day. In high school we "threw stars" (after the story of the child throwing starfish back into the sea after a big storm). You don't really know how big of a difference you can make unless you try!
jeepcutie82 at msn dot com

Miss Spoken said...

I'm a true-believer in paying it forward; whether it's moving, finances, babysitting or finding/returning something that was lost.
gkstratos@ yahoo.com

Alice H said...

Sounds like a great book. I get help every day from my husband - we're expecting in September and he's been so thoughtful and kind. Its making this experience that much easier. Thanks! afdr3d@umkc.edu

Anonymous said...

I was down to my last few dollars and out of the blue came a phone call offering me one hundred and fifty dollars the next day to be in a legal survey.I feel this had to be from God and I was truly blessed.

kygirl said...

I am blessed every day, just by GOD allowing me to be the person I am.

idahomom said...

I am blessed that my father who has outlived to wonderful wives has just married another wonderful lady.

Anonymous said...

I have been struggling with grief and today I received a surprise book and card from someone I don't know too well just because she was thinking of me. It was an amazing and unexpected kindness.
doot65[at]comcast[dot]net

Smooshy said...

I've always been strong and able to deal with my problems myself but recently I've been having really bad marital problems that have almost totally crushed me. When it started getting around to my friends the outpour of support was just incredible. I've never been alone or felt alone once during this whole ordeal and I'm so wonderfully touched by the simple ways the people in my life have been showing me that they care.

maweisberg said...

i want to win

Anonymous said...

I'm going through some hard times right now. My only close friend lives miles away. I was having a rough day today but I received an e-mail from her. It really helped me to feel not s alone. She's a good person and I'm blessed to know her. I hope I will be as good a blessing to her in this hard time and when I get through it. fu_inle at hotmail dot com for contact. Thank you for a chance to win the book.

Sharon said...

I am so blessed by family and friends. We have struggle financially and because of friends and family. There are so many things...but one of the kindest.,...my parents...we could not pay our car payments...they did not give us ONE, but TWO cars...we have no car payments...and this is just one of many things. THANKS
fenway07@msn.c0m

LINDALSHOT said...

I feel blessed corresponding with our troops. They do so much for us and yet and so grateful to be remembered.

MCS Girl said...

I have been blessed by the help from my mom and stepdad, especially through my back surgery and recovery and surviving chronic illness. I love them both dearly and try to pay it forward.

Kimberly said...

I count my blessing every day for my family and friends.

Years ago my son had to wear leg braces and our insurance wouldn't cover it and we didn't have enough money to help pay for them. I belong to an online group at the time and I was sharing my "woes" with a couple of the ladies there. One of the ladies, who lives in Canada, e-mailed a few of her friends and they took up a collection and raised the money to pay for my son's leg braces. Just thinking about it when I type this brings tears to my eyes!!!

I have a friend who is a single mom and struggles financially every day. Not that I'm rich (far from it). We struggle too. But I happened to get $25 from a sale online (sold something) and instead of keeping that $$$ I sent it to my friend because her dream is to open up an online store and she didn't have the $7/month to host it so I sent her the $$$ ($25) which will cover at least the first three months so she can open her store.

I am a FIRM believer in Random Acts of Kindness, whether it be people you know or total strangers. I'm the type of person who'll rescue a worm from a hot parking lot and place him in the dirt under a shady tree, or go out and give bottles of water to the landscapers or the UPS man.

Yikes! I'm rambling. Sorry about that.

Thanks for the great giveaway.

Kimberly
HunnyV "at" Optonline.net

Unknown said...

I've visited our family's orphanage in India five times over the past 10 years, and every time I visit and work there it's SUCH a blessing! Thanks so much for the giveaway!

Ames said...

I always feel so blessed when people offer to do random things - I've been plagued with horrible morning sickness for about 5 months of my 1st pregnancy and people offering to get my groceries, clean, etc have been SO sweet!

megan said...

I've learned to let my hubby help out with chores around the house, even though he doesn't do them like I would do them he's trying to help and take some stress off of me.

Uniquely Yours said...

I have been blessed again and again by giving. I love to create handmade gifts for my family and friends both for special occassions and just because I like to suprise people with my creations.

mommyofmany said...

My children are continually blessing me. It might be a hug or a sweet smile, helping me with a project, cheerful obedience or even seeing them serving others. One of my sons has been my gardening buddy this season. My oldest daughter is her mom's sewing companion. Each of my children makes his own contribution to our family, and it's always a blessing!

This book would be a great resource for us as our family is currently studying the character quality of love.

Thanks for sharing!
sferrill AT gmailDOTcom

Julie Donahue said...

I have had the opportunity to encourage other women through their infertility journeys. I've been blessed by them.
My husband and I know our love languages, but it's hard to live them out. I'm looking forward to this book.

abeaudet said...

When my parents were in their last days, my father had constant emergencies which required me to leave work. My girlfriend (who also worked, and is now my wife) stepped in and helped me with my mother, visiting her almost daily and bringing her supplies. Thanks to her support I have a clear conscience that both of my parents recived the best care humanly possible to the end.

Anonymous said...

would love to win this - thanks for offering it!!!
cdrury@gmail.com
I am a psychotherapist and I am blessed my clients trust everyday - they allow me to be a better person!!!

Unknown said...

I have been blessed with healthy children and a nice home. The biggest gift we can give ourselves is not taking things for granted.

robynl said...

I would love this book. I have been blessed many times over by helping someone; i.e. they just moved and need a few kitchen/personal supplies to get started-I've done that.
a neighbor of mine has Lupus and is working but seems so tired and often times is low on cash so I invite her over for a meal now and then and her thankfulness 'does it for me'. I am happy to have helped.
Two years ago I adopted(so to speak) 4 young boys in El Salvador through a church and send money so each can go to school. When I receive a picture from each of them I feel so blessed.

yourstrulee at sasktel dot net

SeahorseLady said...

I feel that I'm blessed every day of my life. We were in dire straights after Hurricane Katrina and were over whelmed with people wanting to help. Perfect strangers came to our aid and helped with so many things. We were then able to help others and continue to help Katrina victims by donating time and labor. It gives me pleasure to just see a smile on someone's face. People are amazing and I thank you for reminding me of my everyday blessings.

Anonymous said...

My grandmother has been a great influence in my life. She is the sort of person who is always willing to give even if it means going without for herself. She is such a selfless and humble person. God has blessed me so much. Prayer is powerful and that has been the greatest blessing in my life.

hosannah@gmail.com

Giulianna @ Family Blueprint said...

My life has been so full of blessings that I cannot help but want to let the love overflow that God pours into my heart. Truly the good I do is not of me and I would be a fool to think I am so wonderful. Every GOOD gift is from God! That means every blessing we pour out onto another's life is actually the hands and heart of Christ extended to them through us, the willing vessels.

I have found what you said about a smile to another being so true. When I am out in public and I extend a genuine smile and eye contact to others...you can see many of them light up. They feel valued.

Blessings to you!

Charlotte said...

My family is blessed by our wonderful church family. They are always willing to help anyone that needs it. Their prayers and support helped us get through my husband's unemployment earlier this year.

We've been giving blessings, too. Our church has had a project this summer called "Operation Free Lunch." We just buy someone lunch--at a drive-thru or restaurant, that's it! You wouldn't believe how much this surprises people!

charlotte(dot)evard(at)comcast(dot)net

Anonymous said...

My family is blessed by my wonderful church family.

llkent said...

I am blessed with the best friend in the whole world. In February and March I was confined to my house in a full leg cast on my right leg. My husband and my best friend's husband were out of town working. My two boys had their hands full waiting on my hand and foot as I was only able to manuever around with crutches. Needless to say bath/shower time was quite a chore. My friend called me daily and even cooked supper for myself and my sons several times. Without her being their for me both physically and spiritually, I'm not sure I would have been able to get through my confinement as well as I did. I found out what a true friend I am blessed with.

Larry West said...

We have a special needs son (Asperger's) that our neighbors are unable to deal with and are rude to. Recently he was able to get an apartment on his own. The neighbors there are terrific and understanding and helping. I wish that they lived in our neighborhood.

kananee said...

When I was hurt in a car accident, I was blessed by everyone from the truck driver who stopped to help me, to all the medical staff from paramedics to doctors nurses and therapists, to the hospital volunteers, to people that I didn't even know who stopped by my room to cheer me up including school kids with cards and a volunteer that showed up on Christmas morning with a small gift and a phone card(this is before the cell phone days!). And of course I am blessed with my family and friends who supported me with their visits and prayers to get through those dark days!

lokeelanee (at)netzero(dot)com

Chris and Julie said...

I am blessed by my parents who are always by my side. I love to read Gary Chapman's work!

masonsgranny59 said...

ty! 4 the great contest!I've been blessed so many times when ive needed something and i've been blessed many times for doing things for others.The Lord has been good 2 me.:)

calgirl said...

I have been blessed with wonderful in-laws. They really helped our family through some hard times and continue to expand our horizons by taking us on their travel adventures.

Donna said...

I am blessed when I help people at work.

Unknown said...

I've been blessed by the members of my church who have helped me in times of need. garrettsambo@aol.com

memetu said...

My dead brother came to my Mother and I on separate occasions to tell us he will see us again. The words where "Someday I'll be forgotten as the river turns to red. We will meet again; I will see you then". The background is beautiful music and trillions of voices sing in surround sound.

lilyk said...

My friend helped me out when my car was hit while it was parked on the street.